I sometimes forget I’m a disabled mum. I’ve grown up with my disability so kind of just live with it and the aches, pains and niggles I get are part and parcel of my day.
However days like today make me truly aware of my disability.
Having had ‘one of those morning’s’ at home I decided I had to get the girls and I out of the house for a little while so popped them in the car and headed to our local Sainsbury’s to buy some bits and pieces to bake with them this afternoon. On arrival I decided to head straight to the cafe to get them some dinner before we headed down to the shop floor for a little look around.
After a wander around the clothes aisles and nabbing one or two items we went to get some baking bits and headed towards the checkouts. However half way down one of the aisles my ‘good’ leg totally went into spasm and I couldn’t raise my leg to step forward, nor could I weight-bear on it. Leaning on my trolley I hobbled to the side of the aisle so I wasn’t blocking anyone and tried to rest for a moment before giving it another go. I still found myself totally unable to move though and could feel myself starting to get a bit stressed and emotional.
I had baby girl in the trolley seat and toddler girl very patiently waiting next to me. Every time I tried to move my leg I got a sharp pain through my hip and after a couple of minutes I rang my mum in a panic.
My mum was almost 10 miles away but headed straight to my rescue bless her. In the meantime I tried to rest on my trolley and stagger towards some seats by customer service. A very kind lady saw me struggling and asked if I was ok. I explained what had happened and she was so sweet and helped me get myself, trolley and kids to the seats so I could sit down. She even lifted baby girl out of the trolley for me as she was getting tired and fractious and then waited with me a short while to make sure I was ok.
My mum was with me in under half an hour and the customer service staff very kindly processed my shopping for me and extended my car parking in case I was unable to drive.
It was so kind of everyone to help me. However I felt so embarrassed and somewhat useless at needing their help and having to get my mum to come all that way to help me.
The spasm eased a little in my leg and I was able to drive my car home, but all the way I felt emotional and frustrated. I want to be totally able bodied but I have to accept I’m not. It could be a lot worse and thankfully days like these are rare but what they make me realise is that it’s really not easy at times, especially with two small children to look after too!