My Birth Story Second Time Round: Siblings

Prior to baby arriving I had been so worried about how my daughter would feel about her baby sister and how the dynamics of our family and life in general would change. For the last two and a half years my daughter has been my sole focus and the centre of my world. I suddenly felt a sense of guilt that she would have to share her mummy and daddy and this in turn made me worry about my acceptance of my new baby. However I needn’t have worried…

I’ve had no bonding problems whatsoever with baby, and toddler has been great so far. She loves her baby sister and is very affectionate towards her, asking where she is every morning, saying how beautiful she is and giving her lots of kisses, which is lovely.

I think talking about baby’s arrival and buying bedtime story books about new babies really helped prepare our daughter for her sister’s arrival. We also stressed what a fantastic big sister she was going to be and since baby’s arrival we have involved her with things, such as asking if she wants to help at bathtime etc. I think the fact that people keep buying her presents too is probably helping a lot too!!!

However in the last week I have noticed that my toddler is starting to seek my attention more, despite me desparately trying to ensure they both get equal attention. We have had a few mood swings and sulks and lack of cooperation (probably not much more than an average toddler would display anyway). I’ve even been called “nasty mummy” out of the blue and for no reason. However so far her attitude towards her sister hasn’t changed, she constantly wants to cuddle her on the sofa  and give her kisses. Any negativity there is (small as it is) seems directed at me, which I guess I can take, after all she knows I love her, I am constantly telling her this and displaying my affection. It’s just a transitional period during which she’s adapting to the huge change and as a toddler this is her way of displaying her feelings.

I know things are never going to be perfect and I am very sure we will have our moments but at present I’m quite happy with the way my daughter has accepted her baby sister and generally behaved. I can only hope that her attitude directly towards her sister remains positive and that her attitude overall doesn’t change any further.

Comments

  1. They will be sisters, there will be love and there will be arguments, but don’t let the fighting get you down! Mine have 27 months between and MG *loves* babies. She was utterly thrilled to have a baby sister and adored her from the second she saw her in hospital. This started to wear off as DG became a toddler instead of a baby! Now at six and almost-four their fighting can be horrible but when MG reads stories to DG; when they snuggle up together in a single chair; when they hold hands; when they play schools together; when they egg each other on to do naughty things… ;-) They’re sisters and it is wonderful. DG spent almost a year sleeping at the end of MG’s bed when she was a new toddler as she could sleep width-ways and it was a full single bed. She wouldn’t sleep in her cot or the bed we got her, she had to be with her sister :-)

  2. I’m not in your position yet, but hope to be soon. I think you’re doing the right thing as far as inviting her to get involved with bath time etc. I’d be tempted to continually over-empathise her role as the big girl in the house and make her special. Sounds like you’ve got it spot on and she’s just transitioning to sharing her world / home / mummy and daddy with a new member of the family.

  3. I think there’s a special bond between sisters and its great that’s your little one has taken well to the baby. It’s not easy sharing your mum though but keeping her involved in everything will make her feel important too – a big sister is a very important role!

  4. I have a 3 year old and an 8 week old (both boys) and what you just described is my life to a tee lol, he adores his brother but plays up now and then for me lol, you never can predict how little ones will adjust to things but they get their eventually x

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